Mystery Meat

     I woke up this morning, Right ear is all clogged up from an ear infection. It feels like some serial rapist with a fetish for epoxy decided to jizz SUPER DEATH GRIP GLUE into my ear.I woke up and had a breakfast of motherfucking  UNBORN BABIES OF POULTRY that are packaged in easy to use biological containers (hint: EGGS) a banana (which btw I always misspell, it's "bana" or "bananan" or something shit like that -_- ) and as I made my protein shake (ISOPURE for the fuckin' WIN) /i realized something. I miss Cafeteria Lunch food. I mean I really really do. Keep reading my HAPPY LITTLE HARD-ONS.

     I realized that everyday that I went to high school was a fucking blessing. My school had shitty lunches just like the rest of you little fuckers, we had the random "ethnically fair day" where they served "spaghetti" (which by the way wasn't anything like real pasta, that shit tasted like  EGG NOODLES  doused in KETCHUP) and tacos with animal protein matter (there's no way in hell will I ever call that shit "meat"). Hamburgers and cheese burgers EVERYDAY, cheese steaks, and we had real good french fries, and cookies the size of a typical pancake. All for fucking $1.55. That shit was delicious!
     I remember Tater tots, the little turds of vaguely potatoe material that tasted like SEX when you were eating them. I remember the god awful looking but surprisingly tasty "turkey" days where Turkey shreds mixed with gelatinous gravy were served over instant mashed potatoes (or a piece of white bread if budget funds were low that month)—makes for a sad Thanksgiving meal, but a decent cafeteria lunch. The generic Square pizza's covered with molten plastic mozzarella. and the "healthy" meals, the Salads that all the popular girls would buy for double the price, so that ty'd feel as they were different from the rest of us fatasses, then douse in ranch and order a pancake sized cookie to go with it -_-.
     Maybe It makes me sound like an old fart but i MISS those lunches, I miss the cheap food, and the food fights, Throwing half frozen little cartons of chocolate milk like they were some advanced dairy based FRAGMENTATION grenade, I miss the choreographed "OOOOOOOOOH~" when someone would drop their lunch tray. I miss staring at the hot girls in school and bullshitting with my friends to see who would cowboy the fuck up to talk to them. I miss selling dubsacks of weed right in the cafeteria. I feel old and depressed and Healthy, Someone get me a fucking Taco =/
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