Tough Love, Grow the Fuck Up

SERIOUSLY. It seems as if society has told everyone that they're winners. That we should avoid bad things and harsh language. That we should shelter our children from the possibility of failure. Even losers get " you tried really, really, hard trophies" . Parents have the nerve to get angry with teachers when their children do shitty in class. It's never anybody's fault, It's the big business, or the politicians or just sheer bad luck, no one takes responsibility for anything any more.Society wants us to believe Life is supposed to be free ice cream, fuckin' rainbows, giggling unicorns, and sunshine and the worst part of that is that people are BUYING IT. are you fucking kiddin' me?! I mean it sounds great, It sounds completely perfect, to live in a perfect utopian society where things don't go wrong, and where people treat your mistakes with" there there that's okay we'll try again" There's only one problem with that.

IT'S ALL BULLSHIT.

The world is a harsh place, and it will beat you to the ground without mercy and keep you there unless you can stand on your own two feet and rise up. To raise children in a society where they deny the children the chance to fail and fail spectacularly is to cripple them in the future.You may call it "nurturing" children, but I call it "neutering" them. Every great leader, every warrior, Every person worthy of glory and recognition has faced adversity and challenged it. For there is nothing that is worth doing that is not challenging. Accomplishing a challenge is it's own reward, or at least it should be.The most successful people in the world fail big and they fail often. But they relentlessly keep walking their path,, rising after every failure, replacing each success with the next challenge as soon as they complete it – always looking forward. without that mentality society as a whole would stagnate.

The people of this fuckn' generation ( I say generation even though I'm only 4 years older than they are) have this ingrained sense of entitlement to the riches and glories of this world. They believe that they DESERVE what previous generations paid for with blood, sweat, and tears. These effeminate men and stuck up young women, believe that the world should revolve around their needs as individuals, and that is a fair point because people should worry about themselves as well as the rest of siociety, but to feel they are entitled to it without paying their dues is the utmost sense of contempt for humanity. When these people have served their country or humanity in some way besides donating some frivoulous amount of cash to some bullshit charity, THEN  they can talk.

Now, I'm not saying the world is not your oyster. you can make whatever you want from the world. you can take as much or as little as pleases you. However you mustn't feel you are entitled to it just for being able to breathe. I'm sorry but you're third grade teacher lied to you,  YOU AREN'T THAT FUCKIN' SPECIAL. all men are created equally, yes, but it's what they DO from there that matters. If a man pays his dues to society and strives to be a whatever he wants to be who are we as humans to deny him that right?

Society should thrive to learn from their predecessors, both the mistakes of the past and the methods that led to success, For thousands of years it has been proven that hard work pays off, and that people who are born into entitlement nearly always lose everything. literally hundreds of textbooks can attest to this, think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that,  in glory and triumph, they could become masters of their worlds. It has proven more civilized and less bloody, however we still do that to this day. and to shelter our young people away from this harsh reality of the world is a crime too terrible to imagine.

so society, grow the fuck up, realize that people can't live by hiding from all their problems and raise up a future generations of Americans who can and will rise up and make America the country it has always been and always should be.

Gonna Update This

It's 0715 AM august 11th 2011

My dog died. His name was Dol ( it means "rock" in korean).
He was an awesome dog, and one of my best friends.
for 11 years he sat in my lap, never getting any bigger than 7 pounds.
From earlier than 6th grade he was a constant companion.
When I moved to Monroe, I had no new friends, I came home to play with him and his wifey Rose.
from before my balls even dropped, to me signing my agreement with the army he was been a constant companion.
I could always count on him. He loved to just sink into my lap and fall asleep. He growled like a little hemi Engine.
He was everything a man would want in a dog. Beautiful, Courageous, Aggressive, Compassionate.
Just pint sized.
He was my one friend, who never judged me, I could whisper all my problems, all my happiness, all my sorrow, all my rage. into his tummy, he loved it when i blew raspberries on his tummy, and I loved it because I could get things off my chest.
Call it Fuzz therapy.
He laid on my tummy, Licking up my salt tears, and sighing deeply with every utterance I gave to the impossibly difficult life of a teenager.
He sighed as if to say *I know it's tough, but things will get better* I cried all my insecurities, all my problems talking to girls, and getting shot down by girls to him. he just sat on my lap, and gave this quiet emotional support that only a dog can give. he'd lift a paw and drop it onto my lap as if to say "Don't worry, I'll always be here"
He had the spirit of a Wolf, and he would protect the things he loved with total disregard for his own safety, not that he could do much, he weighed 5 pounds, but the thought gladdened my heart.
He used to place himself between me and my dad whenever he'd get physical in a fight, He'd stand his ground with his hackles raised growling at my dad ( which was frankly hilarious, considering that the threat of a 5 pound dog is practically nonexistent)
I cried when my family used to fight.
I cried when I was unable to console myself over the death of my friend.
He was my rock, he was the one thing in the world that always kept me who I am.
I miss him So god damn much. I'm glad he left without too much pain.
But I miss him so much.

Young, Dumb and Drunk, and Uneducated, and Rude, and Ugly, and....Fuck it just read it

So yesterday I went our to Headliner's Which if you don't know is a pretty decent place, it has a central dance floor a couple indoor bars and a large outdoor bar in the back. We were there for my friend Jon's 21st ( btw CONGRATS motherfucker, you Finally Joined the Club) so we had a couple drinks, I had a couple Gin and Tonics two shots of Jack and a Yeungling, I had to keep it on an even keel cus I had to drive home ( BTW DON'T EVER DRINK DRUNK that's one of the most reckless and irresponsible things to do) that being said I drank early and had more than just a couple hours to sober up, So I decided to swing by my friendly neighborhood Mcdonalds because everyone knows like IKE AND TINA turner, booze and fast food love each other while at the same time making you pay for it later. So Mcdonald's it was!


I get inside the near deserted restaurant And order me a fucking Big MOTHERFUCKIN' Mac. and some fries and some DRANK. Little did I know I was about to be raided by a bunch of Fresh out of High school Punk that Look Like this Horse Shit.

                                                                               +

                                                                                     =

The Only fucking small problem with this whole arrangement was that this was in PUBLIC. I'm tired, slightly drunk, by myself, and enjoying my buzz and a couple carloads of these fucking jackasses come strolling in through the fucking front door. there was the generic clubhead with a ridiculous bronzed tan between the liquified gel from his hair on his face and the retarded darkening of his skin i could practically see myself in the fucking reflection. Gelface and his friend who obviously thinks "I'M AN 18 YEAR OLD BAD ASS CUS I HAVE A CAPRICORN TRIBAL TATTOO ON MY ARM" both wore ridiculously tight wife beaters, which I found hilarious considering they both were about 130lbs.soaking wet. I tried to ignore the gagglefuck of slutty East Brunswick Highschool graduates they brought, but it was kinda hard focusing on my meal when the very air wafts of Cheap trashy white girl perfume Weed and booze. The perfume was so strong that it practically yelled "$1.99 BLOW JOBS". These girls were dressed in their sunday finest, if by that i meant that every Sunday they stand on a corner waiting to suck a john off for pocket change. There was even a WHALE, this Shamu looking bitch was drunk, screaming how "I MISS AUSTIN" I'm gonna assume she meant a guy, cus Austin Texas is actually one of the healthiest Cities in the US and this bitch was one walking tub of lard. she could spit and you could refill your cars motor oil, she was so fucking greasy. But As a older drunk, i decided to wait patiently. I waited and waited and waited. I waited through the drunk kid who half fell into my table nearly scattering my fries everywhere. the capricorn wearing jackass who nearly sat on my fucking fries ( what the fuck is it with drunks trying to fuck with my fries?) . It wasn't until Capricorn fuck face (that's his new name by the way) decided to start yelling as loud as he could "everyone shut the fuck up, I'm trying to order!"
     When he did that, Not only did I look up but a slightly older couple did as well. as did the tired looking Hispanic crew who probably just got done working some illegal night gig. That did it for me, the inherent lack of RESPECT, for the restaurant, the people working there, the other customers including me, and respect for himself pushed me past the fucking brink. i calmly looked that little jumped up piece of shit ( no matter how much you shine and bronze and tan it a piece of shit is s till a turd) and told him to shut the fuck up.ZERO ANGER. I figured getting angry would just rile him up more so I spoke to this little shit for brains very very calmly. I explained to him how I was trying to enjoy my meal, when his douchbag friends and their slut dates ( word for word btdubs) came in and blew my buzz. He snorted at me and told me "so what man? it's a free country" GOD DAMN I HATE THAT FUCKING LINE. So instead of getting into a shouting match with him I explained how I was an Amateur MMA enthusiast, and the whole Military college and Army shindig. I told him how we train and get ready to get deployed to shoot insurgents. I also explained to him that beating the ever loving shit out of a 18year old punk would mean absolutely nothing to me with as much subtle menace i could muster into my voice.
I guess I should be a fucking Actor cus this boy left more than just a little turd in his pants, he was practically hyperventilating and looking around to see if any of his faggot friends would back him up (which they didn't) .I explained to him that he and his friends had time to order their fucking food and get the fuck out before I slapped some sense into him.  THEY ACTUALLY FORMED A LINE. I didn't know i could muster that much fear. frankly it's addicting but anyways. I continued to eat and i thought to myself, what kind of fucking parents must those kids have to be raised with such little respect for people. Then I saw their cars, all Luxury class cars or some souped up ricer that was  bought with daddy's money. Now I don't rag on someone for being well off, but I can tell when a man has worked or his money and when an man has had his fortune handed to him. and call me crazy ,but I believe, i truly sincerely believe, that a man who has worked for his station in life is much more respectful, and understanding of his surroundings. I know I'm not that much older than them but i feel a legitimate generation gap. I got the shit spanked out of me for being disrespectful and not listening and behaving like an animal in public, I'm assuming these kids weren't brought up around decent human beings because they act like fucking animals.

frankly I believe it wasn't too late for those children, I say children because 18 doesn't make you a fucking adult in my book, to get the shit spanked out of them. I think they needed a good lesson in manners. So I may have dropped a 911 phone call to the cops how a bunch of drunk teens in cars matching descriptions of their vehicles were joyriding down on rt 18 as they left the Mcdonalds. call me petty but Fuck 'em
-GAME OVER-

Mystery Meat

     I woke up this morning, Right ear is all clogged up from an ear infection. It feels like some serial rapist with a fetish for epoxy decided to jizz SUPER DEATH GRIP GLUE into my ear.I woke up and had a breakfast of motherfucking  UNBORN BABIES OF POULTRY that are packaged in easy to use biological containers (hint: EGGS) a banana (which btw I always misspell, it's "bana" or "bananan" or something shit like that -_- ) and as I made my protein shake (ISOPURE for the fuckin' WIN) /i realized something. I miss Cafeteria Lunch food. I mean I really really do. Keep reading my HAPPY LITTLE HARD-ONS.

     I realized that everyday that I went to high school was a fucking blessing. My school had shitty lunches just like the rest of you little fuckers, we had the random "ethnically fair day" where they served "spaghetti" (which by the way wasn't anything like real pasta, that shit tasted like  EGG NOODLES  doused in KETCHUP) and tacos with animal protein matter (there's no way in hell will I ever call that shit "meat"). Hamburgers and cheese burgers EVERYDAY, cheese steaks, and we had real good french fries, and cookies the size of a typical pancake. All for fucking $1.55. That shit was delicious!
     I remember Tater tots, the little turds of vaguely potatoe material that tasted like SEX when you were eating them. I remember the god awful looking but surprisingly tasty "turkey" days where Turkey shreds mixed with gelatinous gravy were served over instant mashed potatoes (or a piece of white bread if budget funds were low that month)—makes for a sad Thanksgiving meal, but a decent cafeteria lunch. The generic Square pizza's covered with molten plastic mozzarella. and the "healthy" meals, the Salads that all the popular girls would buy for double the price, so that ty'd feel as they were different from the rest of us fatasses, then douse in ranch and order a pancake sized cookie to go with it -_-.
     Maybe It makes me sound like an old fart but i MISS those lunches, I miss the cheap food, and the food fights, Throwing half frozen little cartons of chocolate milk like they were some advanced dairy based FRAGMENTATION grenade, I miss the choreographed "OOOOOOOOOH~" when someone would drop their lunch tray. I miss staring at the hot girls in school and bullshitting with my friends to see who would cowboy the fuck up to talk to them. I miss selling dubsacks of weed right in the cafeteria. I feel old and depressed and Healthy, Someone get me a fucking Taco =/
-END-

Let The Ex Games Begin UPDATE

So up until recently I have tried to maintain a positive, friendly relationship with all of my Exes, Jelissa I still keep in contact with, if rarely as she lives down in Virginia or some shit. Some of the other girls, who I wasn't in a legitimate relationship with ( LOL @  the though of the legitimacy of High school flings ) but were still emotionally close to nonetheless, still it me up to talk and bullshit. You know, cus we're all grown ass adults...right?
     Recently One of my Exes, who I had the deepest feelings for BTDubs, blocked me on FB, no reason , no explanation, I didn't take it to heart, I wasn't all broken up about it, but it did leave me quite confused. Up till that point she stayed in contact with me, we webcammed and bullshitted and for all intents and purposes, stayed in each others lives as friends. to this fucking day I have no idea why she did it.
     But let's backtrack a couple years ago. AS crazy as it sounds, I met this particular Ex on Facebook, i thought she was awfully pretty and added her myspace, talked a little, and ended up seeing each other in high school. I pretty much jacked her from some dude named Zack Connor, ( yeah I'm a dick), She liked me, heh we actually kissed the first day we hung outside of school. Things were great, she liked me, I liked her,  I spent lavish amounts of cash on her, I actually wonder if she still has my valentines day gift. I spent a lot of money and time on that gift. We were in love, High school puppy love maybe, but it was real and it was legitimate, Things moved on, We had a lot of firsts together, She was my first true love, and supposedly I was hers, ( you can see where this is going now huh? ), She lost her virginity to me, and apparently this was our first serious relationship, months go by, we plan for prom, she bought the most beautiful prom dress. I introduced her to some friends of mine. This girl had and probably still does have low self esteem , the inability to hold down a relationship, constant arguments with her parents, her desperate need for attention by ANY MEANS necessary, points to my theory. Anyways the day after Prom this bitch breaks up with me. Here I am tears in my FUCKIN' EYES trying to figure out what I did wrong, she told me she did it because she wasn't happy, I worked my ass off for this bitch, bent over backwards, I was a fuckin hustler. Making mad guap, enough to pay off two years of school and a honda accord and more cash in the bank, I gave her a legitimate social life. and that bitch broke up because she wasn't "HAPPY" little did I know she was FUCKIN' a guy I know, behind my back. 5 times.... FIVE TIMES. I was angrier than a mama bear who found out a hunter decided to eat her BABIES. Fuck that got me heated.
     Anyways we got back together, ( I know I know Fucking STUPID, but I was young and dumb)  I left for Rutgers, and the bitch couldn't hand the DISTANCE. Cus I was too busy studyin and having a life at school to stay in with her for hours at a time (even though we talked and texted EVERYDAY). this girl became so paranoid that I was gonna cheat on her back out of spite ( which BTdubs I NEVER did because I have a sense of honor) she added  EVERY GIRL I WAS FRIENDS WITH WHO WAS ON THE RUTGERS NETWORK, even the fuckin' LESBIANS! Yes she even added the girls WHO ONLY EAT PUSSY! The second half of our relationSHIT was so wack, I'd go out and have fun and she'd be pissed and be paranoid and i'd have to apologize, all the fuckin' time.
     On a side note, her and her one time best friend once got into a fight, and she stopped talking to her, Her former bestfriend also happened to be a friend of mine. I didn't think it was right for me to cut my ties off just because Bitch did. When she snooped through my fuckin phone ( which was an every day occurrence when I was home, told you the bitch was insecure). she found out and actually HIT me. she legitimately cocked back and slapped me on the face. Now I try to live by a modern day Chivalric Code, one of the key rules being to be polite and civil to women. But at that point I was filled with enough anger, that I was hit for being a good person, That I nearly lost control and punched her in the fuckin' throat instead I left to go to my friends house and stay with him for the weekend. Pretty much about a month after that we broke up, I just couldn't deal with the bullshit any longer. Not surprisingly, even though she was still having sex with me and seeing me out of a relationship she was also seeing other guys, which confused the hell outta me because she would tell me that she loved me and yadda yadda yadda, but by that point I wasn't really listening to her anyways. She took some other guy to her prom, and If i remember right she fucked him too. In all fairness however I did live in a Co-ed dorm building, and have found random female underwear in my room, so I guess I can live with her being a lying sack o' shit. I guess we were both enjoying the single life and still maintaining contact with each other as booty calls and when we needed to talk to a member of the opposite sex on an emotional level.
     In the end she screwed me, I became a better person I went from AFC to PUA and I made more than a couple notches on my belt in the subsequent months where i was single. I needed a lifeboat to swim through this SEA OF PUSSY I got myself into. It was fucking awesome.
     I'm pretty sure as I'm busting my ass towards an Army commission and a legitimate career she's stressing out about her " OH MY LIFE IS SO HARD"  Art Major, while serving Ice cream for a living. Now I'm happily in a near two year long relationship. ( the longest yet =] ) And the trials and tribulations that this bitch put me through has transformed me into one Awesome motherfucker. So Ex Girlfriend, Thank you for lying to me, cheating on me (only a month after one of my best friends died by the way you callous bitch), making me spend an ass ton of money on you for EVERYTIME we went out ( which by the way was literally true, the only time she bought me ANYTHING was a cheap HOLLISTER shirt( Am i allowed to put parentheses in parentheses? i f i can i wanted to add "which i don't fucking wear...ever) that said "save water shower with me" on a clearance rack) giving me " Hand made" Christmas and valentines day gifts that consisted of A CONSTRUCTION PAPER CARD cus you were apparently too cheap to buy a real one ( which is like what fucking 99 CENTS at a supermarket) breaking my fucking heart, actually making me cry, cry like a fuckin' bitch cus you took my first and true feelings of love and stomped on them with a pair of timberland boots then decided to  vomit forth Bitch flames that would  SHAME SATAN and burn my love to cinders.
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
 I run shit now. Thanks for makin' me into a fuckin' BOSS. I couldn't have done it without you*
With deepest affection,
Andrew King Kim

* oh wait yes I could have, You fucked me over
Yeah you can KISS the ring but you can never touch the CROWN/ I smoke a million swisher blunts and I ain't never coming DOWN
-END-
Quick Disclaimer: I don't refer to women as "bitches" to spite them, I really don't I just really really dislike this one female. please don't be offended 

Crybabies Go Home

Stop your fucking BAWLING this instant. I’m not here to comfort you, or to help you cry it all out. I’m not here to listen to your story and say “There, there everything will be all right” so stop your fucking crying.
Do you want to know why I don’t care about your sadness?  Because you shouldn’t be sad. And I know, I know, this is SERIOUS shit and it’s important and you don’t know what you’re going to do now. But at the end of the day it is the same shit that all of us go through.
For the past year I’ve been down and out. The girl I love lives so fuckin’ far away. I go to school in ‘Bama and she is back in Jersey. It sucks. On top of that, I’m a FAILURE at pretty much everything I do, and have yet to do anything that my parents are proud of. But you know what?
I am FUCKING awesome.
Now I will admit I haven’t held a dying man in my arms, or saved a child from a burning building or any serious fucking shit, but it’s all the same. People go through shit every day of their lives, and that is what life is. So grab a beer, pop the top and give a toast to the fact you are still are ALIVE.  Give a toast to those who aren’t. Those who died so you could be free. Those who gave their lives so that you could hate yours.
You are fucking AWESOME. But, you don’t want to admit it. You go through shit day IN, and day OUT, and yet you live. You are ALIVE. The world cannot beat you. It cannot destroy you. There is no shame in defeat as long as the SPIRIT is not conquered. So don’t fucking give up. Ever. You are a good and decent person, who is in hard times. You deserve somebody. You deserve a hug. You deserve a kiss at night. You deserve a friend. Don’t ever think differently.
You…
Are…
Awesome…
Start fucking acting like it.

Pull The Trigger Pussy

I never got why people would kill themselves.

If you want to die you obviously don’t give a shit, like, about ANYONE. ‘Cause if there is anyone who loves you, you don’t give a FUCK about them, or hurting them, and if there is not, there’s no one to give a shit about.

So instead of killing yourself why don’t you just get the fuck out? Leave the basement, leave your house, leave the motherfucking COUNTRY. Go on an adventure; spend your time doing something awesome, like tracking down terrorists. Go be James fuckin’ Bond. Go kill a BEAR with a pocketknife. DANGER? Fuck that noise, you were going up against a 100% mortality rate before, you’re comparatively safe now. Fuck EVERYTHING, man the world could be your fuckin’ oyster.

Shit, sometimes I WISH I was suicidal, I’d pull the barrel out of my mouth and point it in the air, start a REVOLUTION, Live, travel to Barcelona or some shit, hit the bars, meet people who I’d never want to associate with, bang random chicks, STDs? Who gives a shit? You’re still living.

And then, and only then, when I’m done, maybe I wouldn’t want to kill myself, ‘cause I’ve seen the beauty of this world.

Barnes&Noble the hangout place for studious students and one douchebag blogger

So I'm at the Rt.18 Barnes&Noble. It's nice and AIR CONDITIONED. I'm surrounded by a bunch of high school and college students. I hear people murmuring calculus equations and whispering about how hard it's gonna get it into (insert name of overpriced college here). I decided to be the unobserved reporter and watch on how the nerd acts in his typical environment. Here the fuck we go. ( wow. that past paragraph made me sound like a fucking stalker... Seriously though I'm not I'm just trying to kill time while waiting for my MMA class to start.)

So the smell of roasting coffee to my rear is intoxicating. Like MOTHERFUCKER IT'S LIQUID HEROIN,  intoxicating. It smells so good, but I already had a redbull or four and a coffee might cause my heart to develop what medical experts call " HOLY FUCK MY HEART'S GONNA EXPLODE". Enough about coffee though I have two world class nerds sitting right in front of me. who the hell wears fleece vests in the summer?! and these motherfuckers are playing MAGIC THE GATHERINGtm right now. They collated their magic cards in fucking binders. these two assholes were toting fucking duffel bags, if it wasn't glow in the dark paleness, greasy long hair and glasses about as thick as the bottom of a shot glass I might have mistaken them as a B-rated version of a drug deal going down. As it were they opened their duffel bags and removed multiple binders of magic trading cards. I just wanna scream out  "NERDS" except for the fact that I may have had magic cards when i used to be a fucking geek. However geek though I may have been/still are, I never talked in public about the DAM and HEALTH of certain playing cards.
I know this blog makes me sound like some Elitist Douche-bag (btw firefox corrected my spelling, apparently douche-bag is hyphenated), but seriously I'm not. They just smell. Terribly. Did I mention one of these nerds has his shirt tucked into to his jean shorts that is pulled up to his belly button?  wow I'm such a douche, I bet when I go to hell Satan's gonna ask me what my sins were in his deep SHIT INDUCING, GUTTURAL ROAR OF THE ANCIENTS and when I reply that i wrote a blog on unsuspecting nerds, He'd probably think I was a total dick head and kick my ass. but I can live with that.
Pic Related: It's them!

you can't see the motherfucking binders because they have DECORATIVE MAGIC CARD CARRYING TINS ON TOP OF THEM..... seriously if they had a dollar for every card they had, well they wouldn't be rich as a motherfucker, but it'd dramatically improve their their chances of getting laid

Annnyways, I got back from MMA and I ate the fuck out of a salmon fillet and brown rice. I'm tired as shit.  Probably gonna got  hell for what I wrote tonight but fuck it.I'll save you guys a seat by the bar.
peace bitches

Bullshitters

Recently I was hangin out with a couple of my favorite WHITE friends, oh and a black guy and a Trinidadian Motherfucker. Let's just say they are the exact duplicates of the Jack Ass crew minus the now deceased Ryan dunn. I realized that even though we rarely talked to each other in highschool (minus the black guy and the dude from Trinidad) we're all pretty tight now. I realized why. We all have something in common, We all dropped off Bullshitters from our groups of friends. you know...the DRUGGIES, the "I'm so tough but I'm insecure so I have to Inflate my Ego and talk mad shit" type, the Lazy fucks that do nothing with their lives, the Slutty ex girlfriend who swallows so much SAUSAGE behind your back you'd think she was fucking KOBIYASHI at a fucking hotdog eating contest. ( she btw will have her own entry on my notes, just wait for the latest installment) . the psycho bitch girlfriends who scare you more than the fear of getting shot. those types of people I would refer to as  DEAD WEIGHT. In a Similar manner to a Snake shedding dead skin, or a white guy getting a divorce, we parted ways with the old, the unnecessary, and the stupid. We've moved on and are all working towards bigger and Better things. One of my friends is working towards Special education, the other is going into the Coasties, the other has his own freakin company and clothing label, that's fucking  BADASS! the dead weight that we dropped don't do shit with their lives. they just sit there, getting older, wasting the precious oxygen that the rest of the world breathes.  STOP. BREATHING. MY. AIR. ...motherfuckers.So to my friends Anthony Kozar, Jon Dipierro, Stephan Moonesar, William Phillips, Derek witt, and any other Primo Bad asses who can relate I wish you a good one, Keep it rea
The Angry Asian, Signing out

Pocket Change

Pocket Change. I'm talking pennies nickels and dimes, Quarters and Half Dollars. Pocket Change. The fractions of the dollars we spend everyday. the insignificant little discs of metal that we can't be bothered to pick up when a couple slip between our fingers because we're in a rush. After all it's just change right?

     That's what I thought for the longest time, till I had an epiphany. You see, my father owns a dry cleaning business and a laundromat. and his income is generated by the pocket change of people who want clean clothes.I realized that every cent my parents spent on me was made from those insignificant quarters nickels and dimes. My parent's broke their backs to raise me up, by the sweat of their brow and the tears from their eyes they made sure I got an education, three square meals a day and a roof over my head. I remember my never had a problem buying me any type of food, as long as I ate it all. I learned to be a bit more understanding, I rarely asked for candy or toys, I knew my parents couldn't always afford it, and i didn't want them to be put in that position where they had to tell me "no", and I hated being disappointing so I usually avoided the situation at all possible. I remember going to ToysRus and playing with every toy I could for the entire day before my dad would tell me to get in the car and go home. It sucked having to put down that last toy and not be able to take it home. I remember the pain in my mom's eyes as i put away a GI Joe i wanted for so long because money was tight sometimes.

     We weren't dirt poor, but by no means were we rich either. I never got to have new clothes all the time, or the freshest kicks. Hell I didn't get a N64 until EVERY OTHER KID in my neighborhood did and moved on to the Play station. Never once did I hold that against my parents, we just didn't have the money, and that was that. I remember I used to hate telling people what my dad's occupation was, between his difficulty speaking English, the stereotypical job, and the idea that he made money cleaning other peoples soiled clothes made me ashamed as a kid.My friend's parents had cool jobs, like being an Attorney, or a Doctor, or a Cop( which i still think is kinda awesome, minus the whole FUCK YOU, I can give tickets" attitude).

     I remember I would never tell him about career day, because i was embarrassed that he would make me look stupid, I'd be known as the kid whose dad couldn't speak English, and had a shameful job. The first day I got my license my dad asked me to do a favor and exchange some coins for cash at TD Bank, I looked in my Ford Explorer and saw a 50 lb. tub full of coins, I was so Embarrassed at what people would think of me when i lugged in that bucket of coins that i actually visited 4 different banks and cashed the coins that way. I was so embarrassed at my dad. I never told him how I felt.

      I'm older now, and I hope a little bit smarter. I realize that actually My dad has the most fucking Awesome job in the God damn Universe, He has enough self resolve to swallow his pride and work a job that he never wanted to do He has the brass balls to handle a man's dirty clothes and under garments smile to his face and take his money, he sweats during the summer, to the point where he needs to bring an extra set of clothes everyday. The steam raises the Ambient temperature to 110+, In the Winter he freezes, he feels the cold winter chill everyday, we can't afford to raise the heat and keep the boiler running all day you see. Whenever Shit breaks, which it always does because our machines are old and very temperamental he needs to get down under heavy machines and get covered in dirty water and sludge while fixing sensitive electronic parts and dangerous metal bits. frankly when he's done fixing it, he smells like garbage. Even though I have the technical know how and i am stronger than he is, he still won't let me fix the machines. He doesn't want me to dirty my clothes and myself. that man is selfless to the end.

     He asks me every time I'm home to deposit buckets of change. One day as I was leaving to do so he said something that stopped me in my tracks. "I'm sorry if I ever embarrassed you because of my job, It's the only thing I know how to do here in America". The look on his face, I couldn't describe it to you for all the money in the world, but the closest i could get to it would be a mix of disappointment and failure. It CLICKED in my head that he was just as embarrassed about his job as I was when i was a kid. Dad there's not a damn thing you need to apologize for, you worked yourself so fuckin' hard, so that I could have a decent future.

     When I go to deposit change now i consistently go to the one bank closest to me, I look around as the coin sorting machine digests the heavy metal i force feed down its gullet. It's loud and OBNOXIOUS (kinda like me) , I love it.  The machine becomes full and a disgruntled employee has to grudgingly open the machine up and exchange coin receptacles and lug the full ones to the vault. People ask me what is it that I do that generates so many pounds of change all the time, I look at them proudly and tell 'em My dad owns a laundromat and a dry cleaners. I'm not embarrassed anymore, since I've gotten older, I've become proud of my dad's career choice, He's an honest American working stiff who busts his ass day in and day out to provide for his family. we're a bit more financially stable thanks to the sweat of his brow and the strength of his back.
Dad, I just wanted to say thanks. I'll pay you back, for the money and the time, the support, and love you showed a troubled drug dealing teenager.

Pocket Change. I'm talking pennies nickels and dimes, Quarters and Half Dollars. Pocket Change. The fractions of the dollars we spend everyday. the insignificant little discs of metal that we can't be bothered to pick up when a couple slip between our fingers because we're in a rush. After all it's just change right?
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